Bachelor Nation by Amy Kaufman

Author:Amy Kaufman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2018-03-06T05:00:00+00:00

Why I’m a Fan

PAUL SCHEER

I’m a latecomer to the Bachelor game. I would say Ben Flajnik was kind of my entry-point season, when I began loving the show, because he was a terrible Bachelor. I used to think with guys like Andrew Firestone: “Oh, yeah. That guy looks cool.” And now it seems like they’re like, “Fuck it! Let’s just have fun with these dummies!” No offense to anybody, but one of the Bachelors lived at home with his parents. That’s not the prize you want to put on TV. None of these people are prime husband material anymore.

There’s a voyeuristic quality to the show that is so fun. You go, “Oh my gosh, what would it be like if I was in that situation? Why are they reacting like that? Why are they doing this?” You’re constantly putting yourself in their position, which makes it, in a weird way, aspirational. We have all dated. It’s the only thing that we can all do equally—that we’re all experts in. I’m not an expert on how to build a fire or a hut on Survivor. I can’t sing or tell you if someone is off-pitch. But I can tell you, “Oh, that girl’s going to be trouble,” or “That guy’s a dick.”

I think that there’s always a turned-up nose at the franchise because if you haven’t watched it, you have an assumption of what it is. On Howard Stern’s show, they give him so much crap for being a fan. The listeners call about it and they complain about it. But whenever someone makes fun of people watching The Bachelor, I’m like, “Well, you haven’t watched it, then, because I used to feel the same exact way.” I’ve been with my wife now for thirteen years, so I’m so far out of the dating pool it’s ridiculous. And it’s funny to see the current dating world vicariously and talk about it together. We argue about who the best person on the show is—she’ll shoot down who I like, and vice versa. And then it’s like, “Well, wait. If you don’t like that person on the show, why do you like me?”

You can’t just dip your toe in. It will take me like six months to get through an hour-long drama that I have all lined up, but I can watch a Sunday-to-Monday night of The Bachelor and it’s like cotton candy. You eat it. It’s delicious. It disappears. Where did that go? I can’t believe I watched four hours of it.

I think it’s the best-produced reality show on television, hands down. They’ve been doing the same thing over and over again, essentially, for [thirty-five] seasons. But you’re always invested. It may get predictable, but that predictability doesn’t make it boring.

—Paul Scheer, comedian (The League, Veep)

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